- You are a failure
- You are incapable of attaining your goal(s)
- You are not smart enough
- It can never be done
Have you ever felt any of these? I have on multiple occasions. I looked in the mirror and saw nothingness. Someone so far from human that I was blank = less than nothing. I have failed at so many things in life that I began to believe that I was not worth love, respect or even a decent life.
It is not easy combating your own mind and tack onto it circumstances or hardships that seem to solidify your own lack of self-worth. It is amazing how many bad things can happen in a lifetime and how society grooms you to feel inferior if you are not… (input any explicative you like here). I sure did and it weighed heavily on me and affected the way I communicated & interacted with the world.
For many years I blamed my failed relationships on not being pretty enough, or strong enough, shoot I added so many descriptive to the list that even I can not believe how much negativity I put on myself. It was not until a bout of homelessness that I realized the love – My love of self. I had to out of necessity, learn to love me at my absolute worst! I now know that out of all the things that seemed to be done to me, they were minute compared to what I was doing to myself on a daily basis. Learning to love yourself is not easy, but necessary.
I have found that more often than not women portray themselves less than they honestly are. I never really noticed it prior to my own self-revelations, but now I hear it and see it everywhere. That quick quip about our weight, or snide rebuttal to a compliment. Ladies, we put ourselves down at every opportunity. And Why!?
I was so burdened with hatred of self that I could not see how I was affecting the future – my daughters! In my mind, I thought I was successfully building up their self-esteem to be stronger than I ever had been. Long open conversations about how and why they are to have love of self above all others. But in the background and with those quick quips of self-deprivation, I ruined all the work I put in to teach them the opposite. My eldest will stand up for herself to a point but with just a little bit more resistance from the other party, she will back down. My youngest eh, not so much. She bows to any opinions, thoughts or requests that are not her own. She consistently second guesses herself, her decisions, thoughts, everything.
Worried about your own survival in this ever-changing world, I don’t blame you. I am worried for myself, my children and you! But, there is the ability to change. To make new habits and bring a better life to the forefront! I am not blowing smoke and I can attest to the bounty that is and has come and is still coming from making changes in my thoughts.
- Start by making a conscious effort to change just one thought. For example, if it is happiness you desire then stand in front of your mirror every day and say “I Am Happy!” Every day, don’t skimp – not kidding and it’s not an easy feat. I’ll tell you that. But, just like working out your muscles, you are beginning to work out your brain. A change in beliefs does not come in one day, it’s day 1,416 for me. But I am still making that effort.
- Add substance to your daily thoughts by doing one very small thing that makes you happy. It has to be small, you need to search for inner happiness. It can not involve others but it could be, for example, the smile on your child’s face as they explain their day at the amusement park to you.
- Incorporate any physical activity into your life. Start with something small and work your way up. I began with meditation and stretching – (good stretching not just that 25-second yawn stretch).
- Make a healthy dietary change, just a small one. Again choosing small battles to start out with is key to making this in the long run. (I quit drinking soda – oh my Coca Cola addiction was bad).
This is the beginning – the start to a renewed you! Together we can uplift, light a fire under that ass and get moving, motivating and successfully changing all those bad ideas about who and what we are not!
In the words of Sam Cooke
A Change is Gonna Come!
A new era of empowered woman is on the horizon, and it begins with you